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My first boyfriend was 22 years old! I was probably 13-14 something. He was very controlling, the What Women Want In A Man Strong Silent Type Shirt kind that tells me I'm not allowed to say "no" if he asks anything. He used to ignore me for days and not reply to me. And very often made me send him nudes and I really really hated it. But I wasn't allowed to refuse or he would go find a girl who would satisfy him "a true woman". And I didn't see anything wrong at the time with this but at least I didn't have sex with him even tho he suggested that. Now I'm 21 and when I look back and think about it. I just feel so much shame and burden. And just asked myself why and wonder didn't he see that I was a freaking child. And I get filled with sadness. And I feel like that happening at such a young age really contributed to things I have done and hate. All I can take from this is to be careful in the What Women Want In A Man Strong Silent Type Shirt future and make sure it won't happen to my own kids. I was 15 and definitely didn't understand A THING about love or danger. I found out that he was married and had a child because he literally disappeared.

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